Gender

What makes gender?
How do we define 'male' or 'female?
Is it conditioned?
Is it biologically predetermined?
Are we influenced by how we're dressed as children, or how our parents dress themselves?

I found out the other day that pink was a colour associated with little boys in the Western World prior to World War II (I think it was). After that, apparently the influence of the soldiers dressing in blue changed the 'boy colour' from pink to blue. It's amazing how even being told that by a person highly educated in history I struggle to believe it. I don't want to. If I had a boyfriend who wore a pink shirt, he'd be dropped faster than a hot potato.

I believe, like Judith Butler has written, that gender is performative. We constantly perform everything we do, including our gender, by what we wear, how we act etc. Even 500 or so years ago, Shakespeare said,

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players...

I think he was referring to what I'm talking about, not necessarily just gender, but how we are as human beings in general.

I was also talking to a friend the other day about how feminism just can't work anymore. Feminism asserts that women are a group with common characteristics and interests (Butler). This in my opinion, is wrong - very wrong. What exactly is the female ideal that these women are trying to portray? I sure as hell don't want to be exceptionally girly, but ultimately I'd love to bear children and make my future husband happy. If that means taking 'traditional gender roles', then so be it. I have no problem with it, and isn't it my choice? Isn't that what feminism wants? For me to have a choice, and to have equal rights with men?
I'd hate to tell those of you who identify as feminists, but feminism is no longer valid. We have equal rights. What can men do that we can't?
If anything, it's men have a hard rap. There are female gyms, female clubs, 'ladies nights', and most importantly, much more support for female physical and sexual abuse victims. We don't need female gyms, clubs and things like that. You have a vagina. We get it. So what? So do I. You are not special. Half the world is like you in that respect and they can deal with it, so why can't you? Sure, we all cope in different ways, but give me a break here. It's not that important. Ladies nights... no idea where to start with those. I'm not sure if they're instigated by males, females or males pressured by females but I sure as shit hope it's not the last one. Either way, it's inflating some women's egos and unnecessarily putting us on a pedestal. Anyway, unimportant.
The main thing I was talking to my friend about is the lack of support for male abuse victims and dare I say it, abuse of the support by females. I spoke to one of my friends who used to be a cop who said that roughly 70% of female sexual abuse cases brought to the police were false, but that doesn't take into account those who never come forward. I have another friend who is male. He was repeatedly abused by his previous girlfriend. He never went to the cops. Why? Because he was probably scared they either wouldn't believe him, would ask him what he did to provoke the abuse, or would poke fun of him for being beaten up by a girl. How though, could he defend himself when she used weapons against him? How could he defend himself when she tried to kill him in his sleep? How could he defend himself where if he had, he would have probably been charged with abuse, while she would have gotten off with a pat on the back and a, "if you need anything, just let me know" from the rest of society?
It seems as though a chauvinist uprising is in order.

God?

I stopped going to church.
I don't mind if people follow some man in a church, but I think they have to make the distinction in their mind between that person, and the god(s) they're worshipping. That person is NOT God, and should not be treated or worshipped as such, and definitely should not encourage or ask to be treated in that way. We should not in my opinion worship another person without some proof that they are some kind of Messiah. I think sometimes a leader can be good because they can raise questions within you and challenge your current beliefs and spark you to find out more for yourself. That's what I used to do at church. I'd try and poke holes in what the preacher was saying, because I didn't and still don't trust them. I trust them less and less as time goes on. I believe that if to make up someone's mind means for them to do what I did, then so be it. I stopped because I don't value the Bible like I did.

Normality and Medicine

I think we are getting into medicating anything that isn't considered to be society's "normal". That's stupid. "Normal" is a myth, an illusion. It doesn't exist in reality... at least not a singular norm. There will be something around doctors prescribing certain medications over others... some monetary gain for them, but I haven't quite worked out how it works. I don't think the parents are entirely to blame for medicating their kids. They're human like everyone else, they get the same fear factor that we get from everyone telling us we need to be medicated and some just aren't cynical enough. They don't question enough and so they just agree to let their kids be heavily medicated... I mean, these guys have studied to be doctors, most parents haven't. We are also of an age where fear and negativity sells - not just in medicine, although that's a significant player, but when was the last time you saw a significant positive news story? I know there's a lot of shit happening in the world, but there HAS to be some good, after all, the apocalypse is yet to come.

More to the Mental Health Arguement

I wonder if society and/or religion have any bearing on it. Though, society and religion have been around for millenia so it can't be that straight forward. If it has anything to do with it (which I think some of it does, but not completely) then something has to have changed in society and religion. Perhaps our way of defining 'mental illness' has changed? Perhaps we've become more open about it? Perhaps a little too open. Ironically, it's become rather fashionable to have a mental illness of some kind, whereas back in the 50s and earlier for example, having a mental illness would be the LAST thing you'd want to have, given some of their ways of "treating" them at the time (disregarding the pioneers of psychology like Freud, Jung and Skinner etc, because I believe they did a very good job, and though their theories were half-baked at the time, they paved the way for modern psychology. I just think lobotomies and electroconvulsive therapy were WAY overused). I personally think we're a little brainwashed by people telling us we're crazy or that being crazy is 'in', and therefore we actually BECOME crazy. Who hasn't tried to appear angry or sad for whatever reason, and then ended up ACTUALLY feeling that way? I know I have. The mind is a very powerful thing. Obviously, I think some people are born mentally ill or develop it naturally regardless (or not) of their environment, but I 90% believe that we are conditioned that way.  Maybe that's why it seems to be on the increase? Maybe not. I don't actually think there's any one explanation or reason for it really.

Mental Health

It kind of puzzles me though about how many people need mental health-care now and why. Is it the way society is now? And if so, what part of society? I.e., is it people (doctors, the media, the public, friends, family etc) telling us we need it so we fool ourselves into thinking we need it and end up acting crazy? Or is it that society now molds us in a negative way to make us ACTUALLY require it? It also scares me how doctors seem to want to throw pills at everything. Do we really need them? I understand some people DO need them, but out of all the millions of people who get given them, what percentage actually need them, and was I one of them? I tend to question that kind of thing a lot, because the mind is an extremely special, complex and delicate thing that we haven't even begun to comprehend and that is constantly decaying and degrading - you only have one and once you screw it up, other than recoverable damage, that's it, so you need to make the most of what you have, while you have it.

A great therapist can save your life, but a bad one can ruin it more than none at all, that's why I feel it's so important to make sure whoever you see or whoever assesses you absolutely knows what they're doing. I went catatonic for a month and when I snapped out of it, I never quite came right. I used to be reasonably average socially, despite being horribly depressed - I'd talk like average girls do. Now I find it hard to verbally talk to anyone so I don't.

Cyber Bullying

Other people will say things to you virtually that they'd never dare say to your face, because you can't hurt them physically right away, and there's this huge physical and emotional barrier between you and them (called cyberspace) that means they can say shit and not have to deal with your reaction on an emotional level. There's something very sterile and emotionless about insulting the shit out of someone over the internet or via text. It becomes just so impersonal for the person doing the abuse and that's why in my opinion, it's so easy.